Different and Deeper: 5 Books for When You Can't Feel God
It’s always made me a little peculiar, but I have always LOVED organized religion.
Until… the day I didn’t.
It started small, so small I didn’t even notice I wasn’t feeling as connected to God during my usual worship or study sessions as I used to. One Sunday I woke up and nearly cried when I realized I was attending church that afternoon. A few months later, for many different reasons, I slid into a deep depression that made it even harder to love church.
That was four years ago, and my depression has lifted significantly, but it has changed my relationship with God dramatically. It’s still hard, but I’ve discovered different sides to God that I never would have seen without the hard push. Among my many strategies to stay above depressive waters, I volunteered with the many denominations in Davis County, playing the piano, attending celebrations and ordinances, etc. to see how people connected with God. And, of course, I read all the books I could find about God.
I read way more than would fit in one post, so I’m sure this topic will be revisited over the next few months (at least until my Olympics obsession takes hold again!)
But to start, here are five books that helped me connect with God in a different and deeper way.
1. Divine Quietness by Emily Robison Adams
The most gut-wrenching part of depression was the feeling that I was getting the cold shoulder from God. When I first started noticing my disconnect I went overboard in my religious activities to see if I could improve things that way. But going from feeling like I heard God multiple times a day to nothing felt like the unrequited love you have for the crush who always calls you an “acquaintance”.
I have an editor friend who mentioned a rather odd book she had just read over lunch. She claimed that Divine Quietness was all about how not feeling or hearing God could be one of the greatest opportunities to rebuild faith. She was right. Emily Adams challenged what it meant to have faith in God, and how we often base our faith on outcomes rather than God’s love. Because she had a struggle very similar to my own, I felt a lot of compassion and understanding from her words.
She even includes a list of books that helped her through the quietness; some I will include in my posts, but if you want more I’d encourage you to take a look at Divine Quietness!
2. The Crucible of Doubt by Terryl and Fiona Givens
The Crucible of Doubt helped me calm down significantly. It also helped me realize that there are lots of things about church that are good and true; but just like how you outgrow clothes as you grow, you don't think the old clothes were defective, you’re just ready for a bigger size.
Doubt makes room for more—more understanding, more faith, more opportunities to connect with God.
3. Even This by Emily Belle Freeman
Sometimes the quietness between us and God is triggered by a heavy event—death, job loss, chronic health conditions. Really, a loss of any kind can do it. But when you’re crying multiple times a day, unable to eat, and trying to find a reason to go on, the worst question enters every believer’s mind: Can I really trust God? Because sometimes it feels like we ask God for direction and He keeps leading us into a war zone!
Emily Belle Freeman has written many books, but Even This is my favorite. She walks you through what God has done in the past, what God has promised to do in the future, and even how much we can ask of God. Even if you aren’t struggling with trusting God, this is a great book to add to your worship.
4. Better Than Happy by Jody Moore
Boundaries. What a buzzword. Also, pretty darn hard to hold. I thought I was setting and holding my boundaries pretty well, but I found out I’d been in a toxic situation for years, but only after I’d gotten out. One of the lingering effects of this toxic situation was my bitter and hopeless thought patterns. A big one? Why should I bother praying? God’s not going to answer me anyway.
I was still on the waiting list for therapy, so my spiritual leader recommended this book during the waiting period. Jody Moore's belief is that if we can change our thought patterns, we can change our feeling of connection with God. Better Than Happy explores thinking patterns in terms of your own choices, but it also explores how we get in a tangle when we try to control the thoughts of others about our choices. We all want people to think well of us, but how much brain space is taken up when we try to control their perception of us? On my end, it took up so much I couldn’t give enough space to hear God.
I love books, but if you only have limited time available, I would recommend listening to Jody's podcasts. And it doesn’t help with just your relationship with God but all your relationships!
5. God Speaks Your Love Language by Gary Chapman
What? Love Languages? Isn’t that the quiz you’re supposed to take with your boyfriend or girlfriend?
I mean, it is rather helpful for that, but apparently, you can use your results to connect with God, too. I’m surprised no one thought of it sooner, it makes so much sense.
Gary Chapman is a pastor and has used his Love Language theories to advise his parish on how to hear God. For example, if your Love Language is physical touch, you probably feel God the strongest when you attend church services that encourage praying while holding hands or worshiping while standing or raising your arms. If your Love Language is Words of Affirmation, you might feel God strongly through the Bible or spoken sermons, or by studying with other people while sharing insights.
God Speaks Your Love Language helped me go from thinking there was only “one right way” to feel God’s presence to discovering a multitude of ways to connect with God. Even better, I used this book to teach my teenage girls how to discover how God speaks to them. It was a lot of fun, but it was even better to feel the Spirit with them.
I hope your relationship with God improves with these books, but if it doesn’t, hold on. It’s normal to feel distant from God in this world-- that’s why He gave us each other.
Happy Reading!
*All links are simply links, I don't get any money if you click them. I just want to make finding great stories as easy as possible for you!*
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